A Very Merry Unbirthday!
by calin-durus
Summary: For Magan Bagan's "My Happy Birthday" contest. One shot! Jasper tries to pull off the perfect birthday surprise for Alice, but what will happen when she finds herself in a land of wonder? NOMINATED FOR A TWI FIC AWARD!


"**For My Happy Birthday"**

**A "Dreams Do Come True" Contest**

**Title: A very merry unbirthday!**

**Rating: T**

**Pairing: Jasper x Alice**

**Vampire or Human: Human**

**For more information please see contest details on magan bagan's profile.**

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I don't own twilight, SM does. Nor do I own Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carrol and Disney own that!  
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**Jpov

I could hear the front door, signaling that Alice was home. I tried to close out of the website that I was on as quick as possible, but of course, my computer was being stubborn. I growled in frustration just as Alice walked into the study.

"Hey, Jazz?" she called over to me as she set her school books down. I quickly snapped the lap top shut and spun in my seat to greet her.

"Hey beautiful," I smiled at her. She cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowed as she looked over at the computer then back to me.

"What are you doing Whitlock?" she asked folding her arms across her chest.

"School work?"

She laughed, she knew me better then that. She just shook her head at me as she pulled something out of her bag. "Bella said thank you for letting her borrow this book. She was slightly surprised that you recommended _Gone with the Wind_ to her though."

Alice put the book down onto the end table, "Well, I know how much she enjoys unrequited love stories," I shrugged. "Out of my collection, I figured she would like that best."

Alice nodded, "She liked it. Said that, as always, the book was better then the movie." She smiled at me before picking her bag back up. "So I'm going to take a shower and get dinner ready. Do you want anything special or is tacos okay?"

"That's fine." Again she nodded as she left the room.

I had been dating Alice Cullen since she was fourteen. She was going to be twenty-one in just a few days. I wanted to do something special for her twenty-first. Emmett, one of her adopted brothers, recommend that we went clubbing. But, that wasn't my Alice's style.

About a week ago we had stayed home from class. I was sick and she felt the need to take care of me. So we stayed curled up in bed with plenty of tissues and Disney movies. It wasn't until we were watching Alice in Wonderland, did I realize that I knew how to surprise her.

During the tea party scene, I was entranced by her smile as she sang along with the March Hare and Mad Hatter. She had laughed about it later saying that she had always wished for a 'Mad Hatter Tea Party'.

That's when the wheels started to click in my head.

Alice had always loved surprises but for some reason or another, she would find out about it as soon as any plans were made. I called her my little psychic just for that reason. But this year was going to be different.

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Apov

I looked in the mirror at my reflection. _Happy twenty-first birthday, Alice_, I told myself. I did one final check of my make-up before heading down stairs.

Jasper was standing at the base of the stairs, wearing his dark wash wranglers, a dark blue button down and a black blazer. He ran his hair through his blond curly locks, just before his eyes met mine.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you are today?" He asked as he held his arm out for me.

"Not yet, no," I teased. He actually tells me several times a day. His chuckling laugh warmed my soul.

"Well, Alice, you are the very definition of beautiful."

---

We arrived at the restaurant to find the rest of my family and their spouses waiting. "Happy birthday Alice!" they all called out as we approached the table. I smiled and thanked them, as Jasper helped me with my chair.

I was surprised that we were eating out tonight. Normally my adopted mother, Esme, loved to have big family dinners and with the help of her newest daughter-in-law Bella, she never passed up an opportunity to do so. But when mom called me this morning for my customary birthday wake up call, she informed me that this year she just wanted to spend the time with her baby girl.

Some time during dinner, I noticed that my brother, Edward, and Jasper we having a conversation a hushed tones. This is nothing new to the pair, after all, they were best friends. But what I found odd was when I would try to figure out what they were talking about they would both clam up.

_Probably just guy talk Alice._

Some time after our dinner plates were collected, Emmett has asked where the cake was. This earned a smack in the head from his wife Rosalie and a chuckle from the occupants of the table.

"Now Emmett, Alice is a grown woman. She doesn't need cake." Edward teased. I felt my eyebrows furrow as a slight pout over took my face.

"Don't worry darlin'," Jasper leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I have a small ice cream cake at home for us. Mint chocolate chip, just like you like." I smiled up at him. He knew me well.

The conversation went along smoothly. The topics ranging from Edward's lesson in the medical field, to Rosalie's pregnancy, and mom's volunteer work at the hospital dad worked at.

"We're late!" Jasper exclaimed suddenly. _We're late for what?_ I wondered. He stood up, holding his hand out for me.

I took it, "Jasper what are we late for?"

He smiled at me, "We're late," was his only answer.

----

I tried to get the information on what exactly we were late for from Jasper, but all he would say was 'we're late', annoying me even more. _Who did he think he was, the white rabbit? _I rolled my eyes internally.

As we pulled onto the gravel road that led to my parent's home, I was thoroughly confused. How could we be late to come here, if we left everyone at the restaurant?

Jasper came around to my door, being the gentleman he was, and helped me out. I went to asking him what was going one and he finally said something.

"Alice, just trust me okay?" I nodded, as he tied a blindfold on me.

He led me into the house telling when to step up at appropriate times. It felt silly; after all I had grown up in this house. But I was more anxious to see what Jasper had planned.

I heard the door close behind us, and it sounded as if someone was standing by the stairs.

"Jazz, can I take this off now?" I asked.

"Who are you?" I heard Emmett ask from the stairs.

"Very funny, Emmett"

"You know it's rude to not make eye contact," He retorted. I took the blindfold off to see Emmett wearing his Rastafarian wig from Halloween. I bit back the laugh that was bubbling up as I turned to look at Jasper, but he wasn't there.

"Do you know where Jasper went?" I asked.

"Who are you?"

"Seriously Em, did you see where Jazz went?"

"I did not see. Who are you?" _Alright, I get it. He wants to be funny._

"I'm Alice." Emmett's bright hazel eye's danced with excitement, as if I was playing along with his game. _What game though?_

"And who are you?" I asked

"Why?" was his only response, that's when it hit me. He was supposed to be the hookah smoking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.

"I'm sorry but I'm looking for Jasper. Have you seen him?"

"I no not, this Jasper," He frowned.

"Well, the white rabbit, I suppose."

"Ah well he went that way." He crossed his arms, pointing in either direction. I just rolled my eyes and headed to the living room.

There on the coffee table laid a plate with chocolates and a simple white note. I picked the note up. Laughing when I saw, in Jasper's handwriting; 'Alice, Eat me." After giggling about the innuendo in his words I picked up a piece of chocolate, moaning as the soft texture and richness of it hit my taste buds. Godiva dark chocolate truffles. _My favorite_. I smiled as I picked up another one.

I heard giggling coming from the kitchen and decided to follow it. Maybe Jasper was there.

I didn't find Jasper, but I did find my best friend, who was also my sister-in-law, Bella, sitting on the counter. She was wearing black jeans, a bright pink shirt, a head band with cat ears and whiskers painted on her face.

"You're the Cheshire cat?" I asked while laughing. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Have you found what you're looking for?" She asked.

I shook my head, "I can't seem to find Jasper." She just rolled her eyes.

"If you don't know where you're going, then you can be neither here nor there." _Okay, Alice, play along_.

"Have you seen the white rabbit?" She winked and nodded her head into the direction of the back yard.

I left the kitchen, passing the dinning room. Again there was something on the table. There was a champagne flute and a bowl of strawberries, with two notes. I read the note for the champagne first.

"Take a sip but only a sip, let the bubble tease your lips."

I laughed at Jazz's rhyme, but did as it instructed. The bubbles from the beverage tickled my nose, but it was bitter after the taste of truffles. I picked up the note to the strawberries and read it.

"Take a bite, but only a bite. Then you'll know what's truly right."

Again I followed his instructions. The strawberry was sweet and juicy, causing me to giggle as I licked the juice off my lips. The sweetness of the berry defiantly made up for the bitterness of the champagne. I set the berry down and just as I did so I heard the playing of the piano.

_Edward_, I thought as I smiled and headed towards the piano room. But he wasn't there. Not only was Edward missing, but the piano was as well. That was strange because Edward was very protective of the instrument, more so then his car.

I could still hear the music, the medley sounding like a rag time tune, coming from the back yard. There was no way mom let Edward take the piano out side. Scratch that, there was no way _Edward_ would agree to that.

I pulled the French doors open to revile my family outside on the deck. I started laughing as I took in the sight before me. Edward was perched at his piano, wearing a ratty tuxedo jacket with tails, a black top hat with grayish brown rabbit ears poking through the top. He looked up at me and smirked as he continued playing.

I looked over at the table, which had a wide variety of sweets and tea pots of all shapes and sizes. My father, Carlisle, was wearing a coat similar to Edwards and a purple top hat that was far to big for his head. He was dancing around with my mother, who was wearing a pink ball gown, leading me to believe it was her actual prom dress.

At the end of the table sat Rose in a red gown and crown, she had a scowl on her face but was laughing at my big bear of a brother as he tried to juggle water bottles. I sat down and suddenly my father stopped dancing. His blue eyes sparkled as he started to shout, "No room! No room! Move down! Move down!"

I laughed and moved a few seats over as did every one else. I looked back over at Edward where Bella had joined him now. He looked over at me and winked, suddenly changing songs.

"A very merry unbirthday to me," he sang.

"To who?" asked my father, singing along.

"To you!" Edward pointed at him. "A very merry unbirthday to you."

"Who me?" again, asked my father.

"Yes, you!"

"Oh, me!" I laughed along with my mom and sisters at the antics of my father and brother. I had gotten my wish. I was having a Mad Hatter Tea Party, all because of Jasper.

_Where was he?_

"Wait, where's Jasper?" they all looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

"This is an unbirthday party my dear," my father said in a silly accent. "There are no Jaspers here." Okay, for some reason they all wanted me to play along. I knew this part of the movie well. After all it was one of my favorites.

"What's an unbirthday?" I asked my father, whom was obviously the Mad Hatter in this silly game.

Edward started to play the music again and I laughed at how much time it must have taken them to memorize this all.

"Now, statistics prove, prove that you've one birthday," started my father.

"Imagine! Just one birthday every year," Edward chimed in. I giggled, that was funny to see him so relaxed and enjoying this.

"Ah, but there are three hundred and sixty four unbirthdays!"

"Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer."

"A very merry unbrithday to you, to you," they sang pointing at me.

"To me?" I played along.

"To you!" dad winked at me.

"A very merry unbirthday," everyone was singing along now.

"For me?"

"For you!" Edward smiled wide at me.

Dad came over to me with a cake. It was one of those silly cakes that seemed to defy the laws of gravity.

"Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true," he said as he kissed the top of my head.

"A merry, merry unbirthday to you!" everyone sang, as I blew out the candle, wishing more then ever Jasper was here.

Suddenly, Edward was sitting besides me. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, "Happy birthday Alice," he said softly. I smiled at him widely. Out of all of the family, he was the one I felt closest too.

"Twinkle, twinkle little bat," Edward said winking at me, "For you, there is a clue," he took his hat off, "within my hat." He handed it to me, before getting up to join Bella.

I took his hat, looking at it, wondering what he meant. Then I saw it, a piece of folded paper tucked into the sash of the hat. I pulled it out and opened it. Again I was greeted by Jasper's penmanship.

"Alice,

Follow the twinkles to the place that I will be.

Xo"

_Now what in the world did that mean?_ I leaned back into my chair, looking up at the sky. I sat there for a moment trying to figure out Jasper's last riddle, when suddenly it dawned on me. The twinkling stars!

I kicked my heels off under the table and got up to run. I knew where he was!

I ran as fast as I could to the little clearing off of the side of the house. This clearing was a great spot to sit and watch the creek reflect the twinkling of the stars. It was also where Jasper first asked me out, first kissed me, and first told me that he was in love with me.

As I approached the clearing I saw him. I wanted to laugh at myself for expecting him to be wearing a top hat with white ears but he wasn't.

"Jasper," I called to him. He turned around and smiled as he approached me.

He took my hand in both of his, "were you surprised?"

I laughed, "that some how my whole family acted like fools so I could be in my own Wonderland for my birthday? Yes."

"They love you Alice, they would do anything to make you happy."

"I know," I chewed on my lip, something wasn't right.

Slowly one of his hands let go of mine as he got down on one knee. I felt my heart race more so then it was. He was going to propose!

"Alice, you're my best friend, my lover, my comfort, but most of all, you are my other half. I want nothing more then to spend the rest of eternity by your side. When I look into your green eyes, I see a beautiful future staring us." Slowly he brought my left hand to his lips, kissing the ring that was now on it softly. "Will you join me in spending every day of forever with the civil war nut from Texas?" He smirked up at me.

All I could do at this point was nod yes, as I leaned down to kiss him. I placed butterfly kisses all around his face as he chuckled and wrapped me into his arms.

"Happy Birthday Alice," he said softly as we walked back to the party. Everyone was all smiles as we approached. I was about to announce the best birthday present ever, until Jazz stopped me. "Just wait," he said softly.

Suddenly Rosalie jumped up, big smile on her face as she pointed a perfectly manicured finger at us. "Of with their heads! They're to be wed!"

~*~Fin~*~

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A/n: I've been having a lot of Alice in Wonderland in my head lately, and when I was magan was having a birthday contest, this came out. Happy Birthday to you Magan! And if you all haven't read her story _For the love of the King_ do it!


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